Be The Author of Your Own Story.

When the story you keep shouting to the world no longer serves you....it's time to let go and start rewriting your story, for the person you are today. While the wounds of the past are real-they certainly don't have to keep defining the outcome of your life. It's true, pain and hurt from the past can run so deep that it becomes incredibly easy to slip back to those moments, as if they are happening today. Repeating and repeating the emotions that run to the depth of your soul, all in hope that this time, someone will understand the pain and it will somehow, finally- disappear. Yet, it keeps showing up-again and again….sometimes hurting more. Sharing and telling your story may feel important. Deciding who to share your story with-more important. Especially, as you attempt to heal your own heart.
What took me a long time to understand is that, while the past was real...yup, all that crappy stuff really did happen- without those experiences, I would not be the person I am today. Once I started to love and embrace that person.....I began to really see and like the woman I have become. Imperfections and all. Adulting is hard. Adulting your inner child-harder! BUT raising three daughters has given me an unexpected gift. The gift of understanding who I was, the woman I have become and the woman who I continue to strive to be.
The story that I began to rewrite is no longer about all the crappy stuff...it's about how the pain of the past, opened my heart to a better understanding of self-love and kindness from within. How a little girl’s experience of pain and fear and heartache turned her into a woman who loves and protects the world around her, as she always hoped to be loved and protected....knowing that every person who touched her life, is part of the beauty that exist today.
It's a work in progress and while the past does remain connected to my story… I realize that I don’t look at it anymore with the same pain and heartache. It's a choice I make to move forward and free myself of the chains I have built around my heart.
It is not always easy, and there are days that I slip back to those feelings….but I do know that holding on to the past is like walking around with heavy chains tied to your body and who needs that?! One of the greatest gift you can give yourself -is to start a new story, for you and only you. No matter who is part of your life.....the power belongs to YOU. Some people may never understand the impact they had or have on your life and even if they do, they may never be able to say their sorry. Give yourself a gift and FORGIVE them anyway. I have come to believe the word in itself is not always what’s important. It’s what begins to happen after you choose to let go and move forward with love in your heart. You may just find that love will turn into one of the most cherished and meaningful relationships you have in your life.
So try it. Take a deep breath, feel it one last time……quietly embrace the lessons learned, cut the cord and then let it go. Your story, and how you design your life, belongs to you and only you.